We’ve all been there—you are finally getting home from a hard day’s work, you’ve managed to cross everything off your to-do list, you’re exhausted and frankly a bit cranky. All you want is to get those pajamas on, call in some takeout, and get ready to make the couch your haven for the next few hours.
But after a simple kiss hello from your lover, you realize he has a different activity in mind. One that instead of pajamas calls for your birthday suit outfit , and an unplanned workout.
What should you do in this situation? Deny your man, or give in to the obvious hints he is throwing your way? It is okay to say, “Sorry honey, I am just not feeling well,” sometimes. However, we don’t recommend this as the go-to option.
Here are a few reasons why you should occasionally say yes to sex even when you aren’t “feeling it”.
- It will make your partner feel loved. After all, when you take the dirty name-calling, loud moaning, and risqué lingerie out of sex, it is one of the ways humans show love to one another. Show your partner that you can put their needs above yours every now and then. Use any last bit of energy you have as a tribute of love.
- It will make your relationship stronger. To go with the previous reason, making your partner feel loved will make your relationship stronger.Relationships are a give-and-take. In this situation, he needs, and you give. Plus, who knows when the tables will turn, and you’ll be the one who is aching for some loving?
- Sex has many benefits (regardless of whether you’re in the mood). If you are tired and bloated, having a speedy session with your lover might be exactly what you need. Sex is great to lower blood pressure, reduce stress, and get a workout that will release the endorphins you need. It is likely you will feel better after sex.
Once you’ve decided to get over your exhaustion and say yes to sex, here are some tips to help you get in the mood.
- Tell him to take his time. Many men forget in their own excitement that they need to take time on a woman. Make him work his way up the ladder—slow kissing, wandering hands, and maybe a little oral—until finally you are ready for him. Don’t be shy, and tell him what you want.
- Get a little help. Whether you choose a toy, a video or a steamy bath, it’s okay to get outside help for arousal. Incorporating different things into your sex life can be enough to spark a “hot and bothered” feeling.
- Be present. Instead of thinking of the to-do list waiting for you after sex, tune into your body. What does each part of your body feel like? Your breast? His hands on your hips?
But lastly, don’t worry if you just can’t get turned on. There will be times when it is just not your day! Don’t fret, and don’t get in your head. Just enjoy doing something nice for your lover!