Dating can turn out to be a good investment, or a wretched one. It might cost you 3 or 4 dates before you realize you’ve been wasting your charm, your best outfits and your money. You might find yourself feeling frustrated, used, annoyed or hurt, wondering why you let this parody continue for too long. However, there are a few subtle clues to note when you’re first dating someone, clues that can save you from wasting your time and your feelings.
7 Questions to Ask Yourself After a First Date
1. How does your date treat those in the service industry? For example, is he/she abrupt and rude to the server? Did he/she leave a decent tip (if you get a chance to see how many bills were left on the table)? Treating servers or valets unreasonably suggests a sense of entitlement or a lack of compassion.
2. Does your date interrupt you a lot without apologizing? Interrupting too much means the person is not nearly as interested in what you have to say as he/she is in what he/she wants to say. This indicates a sign of poor listening skills, impatience or the worst–a narcissistic personality.
3. Does your date ask you questions about your life? If he/she shows little interest in your life, chances are that he/she lacks appropriate social skills, or again, has one of the worst personality traits–narcissism.
4. How are your date’s manners? Manners may seem archaic, but they do hold a lot of value, particularly on a first date when one should put his/her best foot forward.
5. Did he/she choose the location of the date without seeking your input? A guy might ask you out by saying, “I’d like to take you to dinner [here].” It’s not rude per se, but subtly, this is a sign of a few problems, like a tendency to control, a lack of collaboration skills or basic selfishness.
6. Is your date being pushy about ordering more drinks? If getting you drunk is on the agenda for the first date, this points to an “in and out the door scenario.”
7. Does he/she make more than one overgeneralization about someone or a group of people? Every now and then we are all guilty of making a stereotype, but constant stereotyping or superficially assuming without knowing suggests prejudice or a tendency to dehumanize and categorize people.
Before giving the person you went out with another chance, try to answer all the questions above. Not everyone deserves a second chance.
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