The BDSM Lifestyle: Fifty Shades of Grey

There are many concerns and myths that surround the whole B.D.S.M. lifestyle, especially with the recent uproar that has been stirred up by E.L. James’ best-selling novel, turned film, Fifty Shades of Grey. Many seemed to believe the book promoted violence against women and immoral behavior, when in reality, it was nothing more than a sexual fairy tale concocted by the author. Ever since then, there have been quite a few misunderstandings on this bondage-type lifestyle.

 What exactly is B.D.S.M.? According to a brief article entitled, The B.D.S.M. Lifestyle on the website http://www.vixenrose.com/Vixenrose/BDSM.HTML, “BDSM” is an acronym of “B&D” (Bondage & Discipline), “D&S” (Dominance & Submission), and “S&M” (sadomasochism). “BDSM” refers to any or all of these things, and a lot of stuff besides.” B.D.S.M is an umbrella term that involves a wide range of sexual activities such as tying your partner’s hands up to playing in full-blown erotic sex dungeons. There are also many who are completely unaware that they have ever participated in any form of B.D.S.M. They may shudder at the thought of nipple clamps but are perfectly happy with being blindfolded, all without thinking it’s still a form of B.D.S.M. To them, B.D.S.M. is something alien and involves some sort of sexual torture or abuse which is far from truth. This is explained in the article on http://www.teramis.com/kink/bdsm_defined.htm, BDSM Defined: An Exploration of Adult Sexuality and Lifestyles. According to this article, B.D.S.M., “….some do not take into consideration all the varieties of behavior that are acceptable between consenting partners within the range of D/s relationships.” In other words, some people just like kinky, rough sex and as long as it’s consensual, no harm has been inflicted upon either partner.

BDSM and Fifty Shades of Grey

 Now, how does Fifty Shades of Grey measure up to real life B.D.S.M.? Most bondage experts have said the books and film has an insidious essence within the bondage community. James’ portrayal is criticized as being incredibly inaccurate and lacking of knowledge of the B.D.S.M. lifestyle. Emily Sarah, a fetish model, explains that the relationship Ana and Christian share in the series is rather abusive and far from B.D.S.M. relationships. She goes on to call Grey a stalker and criticizes E.L. James by saying, “I don’t think E.L. James has had a huge amount of real-life experience; I think these are probably her fantasies. I get the impression she hasn’t had much safe consensual S&M in her life.” She spoke to http://www.theguardian.com/film/2015/feb/15/fifty-shades-of-grey-bdsm-enthusiasts on the subject. So have many others.

However, in my opinion, society seems to lack an understanding between reality and fantasy. Fifty Shades of Grey was not written as a relationship guide but as kinky entertainment that somewhat explored human sexuality and should not be taken into serious means. No real-life relationship should be like the one Ana and Christian share because it is unhealthy and completely unrealistic. The series was from a woman’s own fantasies, not a B.D.S.M. expert or psychologist. Society tends to take things much too seriously when it is brought to mainstream entertainment but in the end it’s just that; entertainment.

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