The 'ABCs' of BDSM

Whips, chains, ball gags, handcuffs, spanking, submission, domination are all things that come to mind when think about BDSM. To really understand in depth about this we need to break down the acronym BDSM:

B- Bondage. Bondage can be anything from rope to a collar.

D- Discipline. You must be disciplined to ensure the safety of yourself and others.

S- Sadist. One who enjoys inflicting pain and or humiliation.

M- Masochist. One who enjoys receiving pain and or being humiliated.

There are Rules at Play in BSDM

Now that we know that those words mean, lets explore the lifestyle of BDSM a little deeper. BDSM in its entirety is not always as it is portrayed by the media or books you may have read (50 Shades of Grey.) In fact its not always practiced in the bedroom. There are some people that enjoy this lifestyle through out all aspects of their relationship and daily living. By this we mean, that there is a clear set of rules for both partners to follow on a daily basis. Those rules that are tested or broken may be followed by a punishment in the form of either physical pain or perhaps humiliation.

For the sake of simplicity when speaking of a Dom we are speaking of a man, so the Sub will be a woman. We will not discuss slaves and masters or play parties, or Sub space, as they are too in depth. Before any sort of “Play” happens the couple will sit down and discuss the conditions in which both will be comfortable. Some examples of such rules or conditions may be, no anal sex or penetration. Or no anal sex but penetration with small toys. Sometimes the Dom will provide a list with everything that they would like, are willing to try, and not willing to do without any exceptions. The Sub can then go through that list and mark her preferences. The main thing here is to have a clear understanding of all boundaries.

Once you have boundaries set, the fun begins. On a daily basis some of the things that the Sub is asked to do may seem like simple house hold chores that are needed to maintain a house hold. For instance doing the dishes or vacuuming. But in a Dom/Sub household, the Sub may be asked to do it naked or wearing a certain outfit, even if the Dom is not present. A true and faithful Sub who wants to please her Dom will do it, even if he’s not there to see it. The whole role of a Sub is to please her Dom, not because she has to, but because she wants to. She wants to be faithful to him and only him, unless he approves of play with either another Dom or Sub.

The 'ABCs' of BDSM

For couples that have been practicing a BDSM lifestyle on a daily basis for some time they will tell you that its like second nature to them. They continue their normal lives at work and in most social circumstances, but when they two are together there is always that Dom/Sub switch that turns on.

For some couples though it is all the time. The Dom may call in the middle of the day asking something of the Sub. It can be anything from a request for her to masturbate in the bathroom at work so that he can hear it, or perhaps the Dom just wants a picture of a nipple. The request isn’t always sexual either. It can be as simple as just hearing her say, yes Sir or Thank you Sir, or whatever name the Dom prefers her to use. A Sub is always grateful for whatever she receives from the Dom, and the Dom is always grateful when the Sub try’s her best to please him.

Punishment and reward are given by the Dom whenever he sees fit. The Sub may  even directly disobey the Dom because she is interested in being punished or humiliated.The Dom may choose to act later or right away. An example is if a Dom requested the Sub to perform a sexual act but isn’t doing it how he expects her to, he may turn her over and spank her. Or he may not grant her any sexual gratification. Other punishments may include, flogging, whipping, caning, spanking and anything that the Dom can think of that is within the boundaries in place. Opposite of that the Dom may want to reward the Sub. Rewards maybe intense sexual gratification, or the Dom may let her choose her reward. In that case she may request a plain ole “Vanilla” evening. If they practice only in bed BDSM then she may ask for a certain favorite toy to be used, but I think by now you are starting to use your imagination.

There are tons of possibilities in life as well as in bed. You are free to choose any lifestyle you desire. With BDSM you allow your self to open up in new and exciting ways. Don’t knock it, till you try it.

(Visited 220 times, 1 visits today)